Monday, April 29, 2013

Just One of Us

Have you ever been asked to do something you weren't sure you could do?

Has your mind ever been boggled as to why in the world they picked lil' ol' you?

Have you ever been so excited that you agreed to do said thing, only hit send on the reply email and think, "What in the world did I just agree to do?" 

About a month or more ago, I casually flipped open my dear MacBook to take a quick glance at email before heading off to check the dryer.  What I saw made me squeal, cover my mouth, and point at the screen.  Wondering what in the world it could be, Mother hopped from her chair to mine to see what it was that prompted that reaction.  

I called my husband... which, if you know us, is huge.  I only CALL if there's an emergency.  Otherwise, I text him so that he can check it between classes.  That way, he knows to answer at all cost if my ringtone flies from his pocket.  

He was floored, too.  

I'm still not sure why they chose me.  I'm humbled and honored that they did, and completely in awe of the opportunity to do what I did.  

It's not that I don't think I'm anything at all.  I do not think I'm worthless or anything like that.  The whole reason I couldn't... and still can't... believe it has a lot to do with you.

Yes, you.

The one who just cleaned up goodness knows what from your walls, your child, and your floor.

The one who got up when you heard Mooommmyyy or Daaaadddyyy... no matter how many times in the night.

The one who got up to screams from the child who doesn't yet have words.

The one who longs to hear your child say, "I love you, Mom."  Who longs to hear things like, "You know, Dad, I'd really like to have macaroni and cheese for lunch" or something similarly common... but not at all common to you.

The one who grew up going to therapy with your brother or sister.

The one who works with these kids day in, day out, missing time with your own kids, family, and friends.

The one who gives your heart to the boy who screams and hits... sometimes even you.

The one who puts her child in the grocery cart to keep tabs on him, even though he's too old.

The one who feels the stares.

The one who fields the painful questions.

The one who pours his heart, soul, money, and time into his children.

The one who doesn't get to go out with her husband, even on your anniversary, because it's just too traumatic for your little one(s) even with a qualified sitter.

The one who turns to so many for help, advice, empathy, hope... and is left even more broken hearted and empty handed.

The one who is spent.  All the time.

The one who is weary.  Tired.  Exhausted.

Yes, even though this was big to me, it's precious little in the trenches.  And I know that.  And that's why I'm so humbled and honored to get to talk to some folks who might be able to further an organization that has given so much to so many.

Because we're one of you.  Just one.  Just one family of so very many who deal with this.

We may have different diagnoses, different symptoms, different daily struggles, but we all sacrifice.

We all wish there was more we could do... give... be.

We all wish we could make it all better.

We all know the pain of knowing we just can't.

I know it wasn't that huge.  It's not like a dinner at the White House or anything.  It wasn't a great sacrifice.  All I had to do was talk about our life.  How this organization has poured into our lives.  Why it deserves the attention of anyone who can help provide what it needs to run every day, and why it should expand.

I don't know why they chose me, other than that's just the way God wanted it.  But I did it... and am humbled by it... for the same reason I come to the keyboard and do this.

You have to know you're not the only one.

You're not alone.

And you have to know that.  Someone has to tell our story.

Thanks be to God for you... and for those of you who listen to and help us.

Tomorrow I'll post more about it... so stay tuned!

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