Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Mommy Hug

I've had another opportunity to revisit the workplace this week.  It's always fun in its own way, and every time it makes me acutely aware of two things.  There are just two, and they're pretty crazy profound.


I miss my job outside our family.

I'm glad I don't have to work all the time.

Told ya.  Complete opposites.  And to really confuse you?  I feel guilty for working when I'm there, and I feel guilty that I'm not earning money and using my education and talent outside the home.

Every time I get a glimpse... just a minor, stick your finger in the soup taste... of the other side I'm made more aware of the different-yet-sameness of our situations.  Each has its challenges and easy spots.  Each has its benefits.  And on either side, there's guilt if you want it, and boy are we moms good at signing up for it, and sometimes doling it out like handfuls of that one kind of candy you bought too much of.

But why?  Is it really helping for me to look over at so and so and insist that she must be doing things right because she's working and easing the money burden while showing her kids that mommies can succeed in the workplace too?

 Is it helpful to underhandedly bash those who work outside the home, even by a simple sidelong comment about how it must be so sad to have to work?

Is it helpful for the working mom to look at a stay at home mom and think she must have all the time in the world?

Is it helpful for the mom who works to feel guilty as she sees the kids with their moms trick or treating while she sends her kids with friends?

Is it kind, helpful, or encouraging to assume we know better than someone else does for their family?

Or... would it be better to trust each other?  Would it be better to realize that there are great moms who do things completely different than you do?  Maybe all this talk about how none of us are good enough should be more calming than guilt inducing.

Maybe we need to support each other where we can and judge each other less.

Maybe we need to make the only assumption about someone else's life that they know it better than we do.

I know why I chose to stay home.  Eric and I have our own set of reasons for why we chose to keep me as close to the kids as possible.  Some of them are incredibly personal, some are pragmatic, some are based on how our families did things.  They may be completely different than yours.  Your decision may be completely different than mine.  But it all boils down to the same thing... what is best for our families.

So if you're a stay at home mom, a part time working mom, a working mom, a mom who sews and crafts and bakes her head off, a mom who hits up Etsy and Target, the local bakery or grocery store, a mom who loves to play Candy Land over and over unto oblivion or a mom who lets her win the one time then moves on, whether you love letting them get dirty and messy or just want them clean, whether your house is neat and decorated or piled and plain...  I have a message for you.

Great job.  Carry on.  God has given you a great gift, and you rock it.

Thanks be to God for the Moms of all shapes, sizes, mentalities, styles (or lack of style), and other walks of life and forms, for we all bring something unique to our families that no one else could possibly top.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I was going to post on this exact topic this week. I feel in the middle because I worked, then stayed home, then worked from home, now I'm working part time, and will then be working from home a little bit soon again. I've tasted each world and each one has its plusses/minuses. I am right with you!


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