Friday, June 1, 2012

In a Little While

A funny thing happened today.  Ryan's first full day home, first day of us just being us all day long, with the exception of Daddy (who's at school... got to love teachers).  I've looked forward to this day with a fervency I can't describe.  More this year than usual for some reason.

We're planning a trip to see my sister, and maybe that's what has me in a "give me summer or give me death" tizzy.  It's certainly not the sun or the heat that sounds enticing.  I like the beach, but not the heat.  I'm not a swimsuit kind of girl, either.  Love sandals and flip flops, but with my capris, thank you.

The thing that's striking me about this time of year this time around is the amount of stuff there still is to do.  You think things are ending for a while, thus making things easier, then all the end of the year things begin to hit and you realize that you weren't entirely correct in thinking things would be easier or less hurried.  Ryan still got up at 6:10 this morning, Maelynn up before that.  Eric still has to work, and with graduation tonight, he's really still at work.  Even with him home, there are still dishes, laundry, and cleaning.  There's cooking, meal planning, and shopping.  There are linens to change, there's a yard to mow, and there are weeds to pull.  The kiddie pool needs care or it gets murky and icky.  The carpet needs vacuuming.  The floor needs sweeping.  The kitchen table needs de-yuck-ing a lot more than I care to mention!

Last night, after dinner, we went outside and after sun-blocking, bug-spraying, and torch-lighting, the kids went to the inflatable pool and we went to the lawn chairs.  Okay, so my husband got in the pool.  I stayed out of the cold water.

Obviously, everyone was having a great time!  Well, almost everyone.

Try as we might, we couldn't cheer the little guy.  Maelynn tickled him and asked him to come and play.  When Daddy got in, he played a little, then went back to the corner of the pool and continued crying, mostly for his dinner (that he'd just finished, go figure).  Eventually, I pulled him out of the pool and he came and sat beside me.  Once in his little green lawn chair with his hooded towel draped on his curly head, he sat quietly, watching his brother and sister and daddy play.  But he was still a bit sad.

Sometimes I catch myself looking around and seeing things to do and burdens to bear instead of blessing upon blessing.   Sometimes the things there are to get done and the pedaling I need to keep doing seems unbearable, and I begin to whine a little, even if it's not out loud.

I could use a break.  I should have a break.  Everyone else does, why shouldn't I?

I'm the only one who picks up toys/does dishes/washes laundry.  

If they appreciated me, they'd... 

And before I know it, I'm like little Richie, in the corner of the pool, crying while everyone else has fun.  Discontent happens.  If it didn't I think I'd be superhuman, and I'm so not superhuman.  And while there's nothing wrong with a break, a break will not change the fact that I was made to work... I have things to do that nothing will take away.  The funny thing is that usually, when I'm doing my best to keep up with things, I'm generally better.

12 I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; 13 also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man. Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

If you're looking for proof that contentment doesn't exist in things, work, success, and pride, check out Ecclesiastes.  Just start at the beginning and keep going.  

But what happens when you catch yourself in the corner of the pool?  It happens.  For Richie, he needed a little special attention to reset, because well,  he's three (four Saturday).  We walked around the yard, looking at our plants, and I took him in to have some more of the noodles we had for dinner while the rest of us had more cake from Ryan's birthday.  

There are times when I need something to pull me out of the corner.  Something to snuggle me, walk me around the yard, and remind me that I'm loved.  Hmm... how to do that?

Got a ticket coming home
Wish the officer had known
What a day today has been
Then I stumbled through the door
Dropping junk mail on the floor
When will this day end?

But then your letter caught my eye
Brought the hope in me to life
'Cause you know me very well
And I bet you wrote me
Just to tell me

In a little while
We'll be with the father
Can't you see him smile?
In a little while
We'll be home forever
In a while
We're just here to learn to love him
We'll be home in just a little while

Boy, that letter hit the spot
Made me think of all I've got
And all that waits for me
Guess I've known it all day long
Wonder where my thoughts went wrong
When will my heart believe?

Waking half way through the night
Reaching toward the lamp for light
Picking up the word I find
Here's another letter
To remind me

In a little while
We'll be with the father
Can't you see him smile?
In a little while
We'll be home forever
In a while

We'll be home forever
In a while
We're just here to learn to love him

We'll be home in just a little while

Days like these are just a test of our will
Will we walk or will we fall?
Well, I can almost see the top of the hill
And I believe it's worth it all

~Amy Grant

So hang in there... when you catch yourself crying in the corner of the pool for no good reason, remember you're loved, it happens to everyone, and open the word, call a friend, and hang in there.  If all else fails, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and remember that there's more to life than there seems to be. Always. 

Thanks be to God for His letter to remind me that I'm loved. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...