Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Flu 1, Mommy 0.

After a week of laying around in a daze, I'm back.  Sort of.  I'm still foggy, but at least I'm sitting up at the table.  I'd always heard people talk about the flu.  How horrible and miserable it is, how it levels even the healthiest of individuals.  But somehow, for thirty-four and a half years, I've managed to elude it.  Oh, I've hugged the throne of the porcelain gods with stomach bugs, had colds, sinus infections, and allergy-related messes.  A somewhat snotty nose is a way of life for me.  But the flu?  Nope.

The only thing that has ever knocked me out for more than a weekend is having the babies.  That's it.  Well, I guess there was the time I broke my arm in the third grade.  In my adult life, however, there's just not been much that had the power to knock me cold.

Until last week.

Maelynn started running a fever Tuesday... New Year's Day.  By that night she seemed just fine, so we all went to bed thinking this was no big deal.  Kids just get sick every now and again.  They've always run fevers when teething, so I wasn't worried.  The next morning, when she was blazing hot and miserable, it was doctor time.

Thankfully, our doctor could see us that afternoon.  Within a few minutes my fear was confirmed... she had the flu.  I knew it had gone around church, and we were just there Sunday, so there you go.  She was so precious.  Soon as the nurse took her temp, she smiled that bright, show-stopping Maelynn grin and sparkled, "I'm all fitsted!"  She insisted the same to our doctor.  I just love that kid!

Armed with a prescription for what she would soon dub "the most howwible medicine" we made our way to the pharmacy.  The whole way I kicked myself for not getting us flu shots.

Then I paid for the Tamiflu, and I really kicked myself.  Turns out there is now a $200 pharmacy copay for our insurance that we hadn't yet seen.  Per person.  Goodie.

Thankful for the flexible spending account we took out for the first time this year, I took the liquid gold this stuff had to be and went home.

Knowing full-well how contagious this mess was, I sat right there by her.  She was so miserable.  So confused.  So scared and utterly blindsided by whatever it was that caused her to feel so awful.  Her nearly three year old body was completely plowed by that flu nastiness.

By Wednesday night, I was coughing.

By Thursday morning, I got out of bed and went right to the couch.  By that time, Maelynn was all but ready to run a marathon.  Knowing that sweet nurse told me to call them if we started experiencing symptoms, and knowing the cost of the medicine, I decided that I'd suffer through it.  Since it was so contagious, surely the boys would come down with it, and there's a finite amount of money we can spend on Tamiflu... right?

Sunday, Eric was worried enough about me that he talked to our doctor (who is super awesome by the way) when he saw him at church.  A few calls later, I'm on an antibiotic to get rid of the nastiest sinus infection I've ever had, and the chest mess that's lingering with it.  Today, Wednesday, a week later is the first time I've felt somewhat human and un-plowed by a tidal wave of fever, muscle aches, coughing, headache, and overall ickiness.

They boys?  They're fine.  Neither one came down with it, thankfully.

So here's what I've learned through all this mess.  I'd like to say I have all these things down, but I'm pretty sure I'll have to learn at least some of them again someday.

~Good health is really a blessing.

~My mother, although she had her two kids 11 years apart, is great at breaking up sibling fights and keeping my family fed.  She's creative enough to keep all the plates spinning and humble enough to sweep up after the ones that fall.

~My husband is good at working with my mom to keep things afloat.  Thankfully he wasn't sick, either!

~Flu shots are good.

~The flu is NOT good.

~The flu knocks me flat.  Flatter than a pancake.  No, a crepe.  No, flatter than west Texas.

~We will get flu shots next year.

~If we do get the flu again, even if I am first to get it, I will take Tamiflu.  I will not worry about having enough money to treat the whole family.

~The same heart that stood in the pharmacy silently thanking God for the money to pay for the $213 medicine for my baby girl is the same heart that turned around and wasn't sure we'd have enough to help if the boys got sick.  While I thought my heart was in the right place, it really wasn't.

~The world will not stop spinning if I'm not able to keep doing what I do.

~Autism doesn't let up because I can't keep up.  I was up a few times and saying from the couch even "First *x,* then *y*!"

~Again, even though routine was upside down, things were often pretty screamy and touch-and-go, but we're all still alive.

~I'm still struggling with the same pride issues.  You know, the "I don't want to bother anyone" and "I'm not worth the trouble" things.  I still struggle with thinking those things are humility, when in fact they're not.

~Again, I learned that autism does not equal no empathy.  You know how I know?

"Want Mommy back."  

"Mommy's sick."  

"Are you ok, Mommy?" 

All those from Ryan.  That's how I know.  And the littles were great, too.  Richie said at least once every day, "I'm sorry you're sick, mommy."  Maelynn did sweet little things like bringing me a cotton ball to make me better and insisting that I need medicine.  

So I'm back up and running... well, wheezing, coughing, and panting... but up, anyway.  Thanks for everyone who knew I was sick and prayed, and to Mother and Eric?  You two are so good to me.  

Please address any grammar or spelling errata complaints to the flu.  My head is still in a fog! 

Thanks be to God for it all!





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