Sunday, May 26, 2013

Loved like a Ladybug?

The other day, Richie ran up to me with a jar, all excited.

Mommymommymommy!  I found a lady bug! I'm gonna keep her in this house!  

When I took the jar to poke holes in the lid (poor lady bug), I noticed something watery and a little bubbly-ish in the bottom.  Surely he wouldn't spit on his new friend, right?  Asked about this substance,  he said, with the sweetest, most loving look in those innocent blue eyes,

I wanted her to have her own swimming pool, Mommy!

How can you argue with that?  

I did try, however.  And as I tried to explain how he should love his new friend, I realized I'm the same way.  

It's that time again. Once again, we are faced with the reality that we think we've reached the point where we understand how things are and won't be shocked or need another reality check. And of course things pop up to challenge us.

Every year until now, we've celebrated Ryan and Richie's birthdays at home with family. They were born three days apart, both on the Monday after school let out for the summer. They even shared the same original due date of June 9! Now that's family planning, right?

Since their birthdays are so close, I always envisioned a joint party for them. Both sets of friends, one venue, two cakes. One crazy day, then it's all over.

There is this one pesky thing about that. Just one. 

Ryan's best friends are his aid, his therapists, us, and his grandparents and aunts and uncles. And you can guess how interested they are in bounce houses.

Richie's at the age where he's made friends at preschool and church, and he wanted to have a party.

Seeing as our last name isn't Rockefeller, we began planning and saving right after Maelynn's birthday in February.  When we realized we could feasibly do this, I asked if Richie would rather have toys or a party with a bounce house and all his friends.  He chose his friends.

Shortly after I talked to him, it hit me.  What about Ryan?  What do we do?  How do we navigate this?

After talking to several folks, we decided that giving Ryan a party would be like spitting on the ladybug.  We would feel better, but it's not the way Ryan would feel loved the most.  He doesn't like crowds, and he hates candles and people singing randomly in large groups.  But you know what he does love?

Toy Story.

And knowing that, Richie decided he wanted to have a Toy Story party, because,

That would make my brudder Ryan happy.

Richie knows how to love his brudder.  And guess what we did?  

We had a Toy Story birthday.  Complete with Toy Story themed bounce house, Toy Story decorations, Toy Story cake that was Ryan's favorite kind, and "cheese pups", one of his favorite snacks.

Richie may not know how to love a lady bug, but he does know how to love his hero.  

Thanks be to God for you, little man.  We love you so much.  And I know Ryan, who got to be the undercover star of the party, loves you with all his heart too. 


  1. What a sweet compromise! These things can be tough. This was the first year Ethan had any interest in having friends for a party. It's hard to remember to go with what THEY want, not what we would want for them. I'm glad it worked out for you!

  2. I want to tell you how much appreciate your blog. I too am a stay at home mom of littles. My sons (2 & 10 ) have ASD. My daughters (1&7) do not. It's just nice to know I'm not alone. We stay at home alot as well. Hopefully we can stay in touch.

    God bless you,


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