For a long time, I thought I had to be the worst mother ever.
When the other mothers showed up to the church nursery to pick up their kids, they recognized her voice and ran. Not so much for Ryan.
When his brother was little, just walking and getting around, Ryan would often scream when he came in the room.
He didn't seem to want to play with me. He'd sit in my lap for a bit, but that's about it.
Even with a picture of yogurt and crackers versus a picture of chicken nuggets, he couldn't gesture to tell me what he wanted for lunch.
He didn't speak. He did tantrum and melt down. We cobbled together a few hand signals for things, but that was about it.
For years, the question of how his school day went remained answered only by silence.
Now, it's answered by a short phrase or single word, but I at least... as of this week... get a "yes" or "no" to "Did you have a good day?"
He asks for what he wants, most of the time. Maybe when he knows what he wants.
He makes choices, and he understands how to choose one out of even sometimes three choices. Even just verbally, he can choose between two things.
While he still isn't great at playing *with* others, he is beginning to try. Just today the phone rang and it was his resource teacher. Turns out that they're seeing the burst of communication and affection that we are at home!
Turns out that two girls and two boys have been noticed by him and kind to him enough that he has told them "I love you, ______."
Turns out that Ryan noticed that one of his girls has been absent. When it was time for her to come in the room, Ryan asked for her. He said, "I hope M is not sick today."
I KNOW. Holy cow.
In another class, he walked up to one of the speech teachers and asked, "Mrs. S, are you my friend?" Of course she replied with a hearty "yes" and much praise.
He likes to hug his teachers and tell them he loves them, too.
Not only does he do all this... I hear about it. His resource teacher called me and sent a note home... more like a letter... detailing all these great leaps in social interaction!
And then there's this...
When the other mothers showed up to the church nursery to pick up their kids, they recognized her voice and ran. Not so much for Ryan.
When his brother was little, just walking and getting around, Ryan would often scream when he came in the room.
He didn't seem to want to play with me. He'd sit in my lap for a bit, but that's about it.
Even with a picture of yogurt and crackers versus a picture of chicken nuggets, he couldn't gesture to tell me what he wanted for lunch.
He didn't speak. He did tantrum and melt down. We cobbled together a few hand signals for things, but that was about it.
For years, the question of how his school day went remained answered only by silence.
Now, it's answered by a short phrase or single word, but I at least... as of this week... get a "yes" or "no" to "Did you have a good day?"
He asks for what he wants, most of the time. Maybe when he knows what he wants.
He makes choices, and he understands how to choose one out of even sometimes three choices. Even just verbally, he can choose between two things.
While he still isn't great at playing *with* others, he is beginning to try. Just today the phone rang and it was his resource teacher. Turns out that they're seeing the burst of communication and affection that we are at home!
Turns out that two girls and two boys have been noticed by him and kind to him enough that he has told them "I love you, ______."
Turns out that Ryan noticed that one of his girls has been absent. When it was time for her to come in the room, Ryan asked for her. He said, "I hope M is not sick today."
I KNOW. Holy cow.
In another class, he walked up to one of the speech teachers and asked, "Mrs. S, are you my friend?" Of course she replied with a hearty "yes" and much praise.
He likes to hug his teachers and tell them he loves them, too.
Not only does he do all this... I hear about it. His resource teacher called me and sent a note home... more like a letter... detailing all these great leaps in social interaction!
And then there's this...
They stayed this way for at least thirty minutes. Happily. No complaints, no hitting, no yelling, no fussing. No fighting over the iPad.
Hang in there, parents.
You who are just getting the inkling of a diagnosis... hang in there.
It doesn't just get better. If you let it grow you... if you let the Lord use it to make you better... if you fight the temptation to be bitter... it gets awesome.
Thanks be to God!
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